Just a lazy afternoon at home today – definitely no complaints here. 🙂
Normally, I am not a fan of leftovers. I don’t know why, they just don’t do it for me and 95% of the time I’d rather leave them for Eric. But today, the leftover Annie’s from Sunday was calling my name.
Pasta is one of the few things that seems to do well a few days later. Especially mac and cheese, it just allows the flavour to soak into the noodles that much more.
Some baby carrots and a sliced peach on the side. So happy to have local peaches right now; it’s been forever since I’ve had one and it was perfectly juicy.
My MIL had made a veggie mix of spinach, green onion, chives, tomato and olive oil. So I piled a ton of that on a pita, as well as some chicken and a few spoonfuls of tzatziki.
I’m not going to lie, going into this meal I had every intention of only eating half the pita. For no reason other than I didn’t want to take it that many carbs or calories.
But earlier today, I had read this post of Courtney’s. And I’ve been following the struggles of Tessa and Ashley for a little while now with their lack of a period – and I have to admit, it scares me.
I hadn’t heard about Hypothalamic Amemnorrhea before I read about it on Ashley’s blog – I’m sure I’m not the only one. From what I understand of the topic, it’s an issue with the hypothalamus gland in the brain that results in a lack of menstruation. Quite often the cause? Undernutrition and over-exercise. Gulp.
Courtney’s post is proving to be an eye-opener for me. In my case, I have been on hormonal birth control for years now – about 7. Even when I was anorexic, I was still technically getting a period because of it (with my body weight as low as it was, it’s extremely unlikely that I’d have been getting it at the time).
So I guess what I’m getting at is – both of these women had their missing period to let them know that something was up. I currently do not have that option. For personal reasons, going off birth control completely is not an attractive option. I had looked into getting an IUD a few months ago, but it was recommended to me that I stick with my usual method of birth control.
So I guess what I’m getting at here – I’m scared. Although I eat well and have a healthy body weight – it’s definitely on the low end of healthy. I’m working out so much right now, and am I eating enough to offset the calories I’m burning? Probably not.
I’m scared that in a few years, I’m going to go off BC because I want babies, and find out that something like this has been happening inside my body for years and I had no idea.
I don’t know what I’m going to do with these fears, to be completely honest with you. I might wake up tomorrow and decide it’s nothing to worry about, I could want to go off my BC immediately to bring myself some peace of mind.
When I talked to Eric about this, he told me that I “micro-manage” my body probably a bit too much. And you know what? He’s 100% right. Even though I am happy with it most of the time, I do find myself thinking about things I want to improve with it – and probably pushing myself a little too hard in pursuit of that image.
Right now, I want to finish Livefit. It’s a challenge I issued to myself and I want to follow through with it. However, when it’s complete, I’m going to be starting school again and moving to a new city. I’m going to take that as an opportunity to relax a little bit. I love exercising and want to continue with it – but no more of this 1 1/2 hours a day in the gym approach. And once again, I’m going to look into going on an IUD or going off birth control so I can give myself peace of mind that everything’s working properly.
That was quite the rant! I hope it was easy enough to follow – I’m kind of all over the place with my thoughts on this.
I love working out often and eating healthy, but I have to question when my body will reach the point where it becomes too much – if I haven’t hit it already. I haven’t been too kind to my body in my past, and I want to be sure I’m treating it properly now.
Again, thank you to Courtney and Ashley for being so honest about their struggles.
Oh, right, I had a point before this rant. After thinking about the struggles these girls going through likely relating to undernutrition – I inhaled every last bit of that pita. 🙂
<– Do you ever worry you overexercise?
<– Do you ever think you’re a hypochondriac? — I might be, a little bit. 🙂