Better With Sprinkles

The Colourful Side to Healthy Living.

Who Do You Do it For? {VLOG}

36 Comments

Good morning!

So…I have a video-recorded rant for your guys. Smile 

Hope you enjoy!

If you can’t/don’t want to watch the video, or I’m kind of all over the place and you need some clarity, here’s the Cliffnotes version:

  • if you haven’t read this article on Thought Catalogue – go do so. Like now. Although I don’t think the author doesn’t quite get all the nuances and complexities of eating disorders down (although to be fair, that’s hard for anyone to do), he has a lot of great insights through watching what his wife has gone through.
  • Really focus on that last paragraph. It struck a huge cord with me, especially in regards to ‘fitspiration’ and similar trends popping up on Instagram, Pinterest and the like.
  • When I find myself getting down on myself for not having the ‘discipline’ to sculpt a six-pack or get myself down to an impossibly low level of body fat, I ask myself – who I would be doing that for? So random people on the internet/at the gym will be impressed? The people that would be most impressed with those feats are the ones that matter the least.
  • The people that matter most in your life are the ones that do not care what your body looks like. They will love you whether or lose 10 pounds, or gain 50. Anyone who puts that much value on your appearance does not deserve to have priority in your life.
  • Food is fun. Life is better with some chocolate thrown in there, as opposed to living 24/7 on the broccoli and chicken breast diet.
  • The next time you get down on yourself for not living up to a media-promoted ideal, ask yourself why. Who are you doing it for? The approval of strangers and acquaintances are not worth it. Your personal health is one thing, but health does not necessarily have to be what’s featured in a fitness magazine.
  • Priorities need to exist outside of the gym. I’ve had relationships become severely affected in the past by my need to stick to my schedule and hit the gym. Is it worth it? Absolutely not.
  • Basically: Do not think of yourself as any less worthy thanks to some ridiculous ‘fitspiration’ ideal. I’m not going to let it affect me anymore, and I think you should try to do the same.

Thanks for watching/reading!

<— What did you think of the Thought Catalogue article? Did he have it right?

<— Do you let yourself get affected by ‘fitspiration?’ How do you try and prevent it?

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36 thoughts on “Who Do You Do it For? {VLOG}

  1. Another really thought provoking vlog! I wonder about that all the time. Who am I really trying to impress? Why am I compromising my happiness for people who couldn’t care less? That article sounds really awesome. I’m going to read it after I finish commenting! I definitely get caught up in some of the hype sometimes but I’ve lost a lot of friends too because of it. It isn’t worth it. Thanks for this!!

  2. This is great. I wonder these things on a daily basis. Thanks for reminding me I’m not the only one who thinks it’s crazy.

  3. I love this! I think its hard to see people who are more worried about impressing others than actually living and enjoying their own life.

  4. I love this and especially that we need chocolate in our lifes!! Never ever take that chocolate away from me 🙂
    I am trying to shape my body, but it is different than in my past. I know exactly that no one cares than me. But for me, it is a great feeling to achieve a certain fitness level, I love the challenge and I find it super interesting to what my body is capable to, when I challenge it and also let it rest in a good balance. Maybe no one believes me, but I am doing this for me. I am not pinning my abs (if I had any :-)) and I also never got to the gym with a stomachfree shirt….that I think is odd. And isn’t it the best prove of love, that your friends and family don’t give anything about your abs but about your soul and heart?

  5. I had never read that article until now. What a great one, it really shows how disturbing the behavior really is to those around. I think my biggest motivator in recovery was the idea that I was not able to live a life that I enjoyed. Sure, this idea of thinness was appealing but getting there was not. It isn’t life and never will be when priorities are centered around obsessions rather relationships. I really enjoyed hearing your impression of questioning what really matters, who really cares in your life? I know the people I am closest to would love me at any size

  6. Love your vlogs and couldn’t agree more, Sam! I posted about fitspiration a while back and I am not a fan at all nor do I find those pictures motivating…if anything they discouraging as these women are ideals who make others feel like they don’t measure up! Of course I work out to look good but I also work out to feel good…and saying no to dessert all the time, giving up my social plan, or avoiding carbs don’t make me feel good. Cultivating relationships, creating memories, regularly eating delicious food…now that’s all worth worth NOT having 6 pac!

  7. “What you do for them, you take away from the people who love you the most” <– Holy.wow did that ever hit me hard… thanks for sharing that article, Sam! To be honest, I can't stand the whole fitspiration movement. To me, it's nothing more than another version of thinspiration, but a little more cleverly disguised. "Strong is the new skinny" sounds nice, but it's really just trading one unreachable body ideal for another and going to extremes to reach that ideal. For the majority of people, working out for hours a day and eating a strict diet of lean protein and vegetables is just… insanity. Like, sure you can force yourself to do that, but… why?? Life is so much more enjoyable when you're not worrying about food and exercise, and even though some people seem to be perfectly happy with their choices to follow that kind of life (although I have to question it sometimes…), there's definitely no way I ever could.

  8. That TC article really struck a chord with me too and I couldn’t agree more with your rant. When I first started gaining weight and feeling depressed about it, I asked myself, why do I care? Why does it matter that I don’t fit this ideal? If all of my favourite people gained 50 pounds, I wouldn’t think of them any differently. Getting the most out of life is what is important and I refuse to sacrifice that anymore.

  9. I remember being in the ER in tears, with my Mom yelling at me, asking me why I wasn’t willing to have an IV hooked up. At a BMI of 12, I wasn’t willing to have fluids injected into me. Why? Because that would cause me to gain the weight I had worked so hard to lose. “Who cares what you look like?!” was the question I was asked. My answer was “I do. And I know that I’ll hate my F-ing life if I gain any weight. I.don’t.want.it don’tdoitdon’tmakemedon’tdo it”. That’s when I lost the right to make my own medical decisions. That’s when I was admitted and drugged with my parents consent because I wasn’t deemed capable of making rational decisions. EDs take all thought processes away from you. You have no means of rationalizing, seeing what is real and what is deadly. All you see is an end and your means to get there.
    I thought that my life would end if I gained any weight. I thought that my world would crash down around me. Because at that moment, my anorexia was all that I knew, all that I believed in.
    Now, I believe in myself and I realize that gaining weight was what not only saved my life but gave me my life back (and yes, I see those as two separate things). I love myself and love my life. I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
    And I think that most recently, Jennifer Lawrence said it best with “I can think of a lot of things that taste better than skinny feels”. I agree whole-heartedly.
    Amazing message (as always!!). I love it when you let us into your mind. 🙂

    • That’s such an intense story Chelsie…wow. I’m seriously so happy for you that your attitude has changed and you’ve gotten your life back. I’m so proud of you for making these changes! I can tell how much self-love you’ve developed and that is so, so important.

      And I love that quote! I need that framed, I think 😀

  10. Amen, girl. That article made me cry and really think/re-evaluate some things in my head yet again, and I LOVE your take on it. Who do you it for….and why? To be healthier or achieve a goal of some sort? Ok, that works for me (usually/within reason). To impress other people/be thinner/etc? It’s never going to be enough…something that I think I’m fully realizing and truly understanding for the first time…it’s NEVER going to be ENOUGH and thus I’M never going to be enough if I keep doing stuff for other people. I need to do it for myself because it makes me happy and let the rest go…the people who love me will support that and who really cares about anyone else? They certainly don’t care about me, so why should I care what they think? Thank you for sharing your thoughts, love 🙂

  11. How timely that you posted this given I’ve just started a journey to rediscovering my six pack! In the past, I’ve failed because I didn’t do it for ME. I was trying to impress other people – my coach, friends, husband, whoever. I didn’t really care about being ripped. I just wanted to be strong. Consequently, I always failed after about 3 weeks. This time I’m 100% in it for me and I don’t care what anyone else thinks 🙂 And I’m never going the chicken and broccoli-only route again!!!

  12. Love this post it’s great- love your attitude keep growing your awesome- and yes chocolate is the solution to all and freedom tastes even better xo

  13. Wow, Sam, I don’t usually swear, but whenI was reading this post written by Nate Milsham, I thought outloud in my mind, “Holy Shit.” So, I’m sharing that with you. What he describes about his wife is so similar to me, from her mother, to art, to ballet dancing. It’s exactly what I’m talking about in my last blog post. 🙂

    Your thoughts about it are so interesting! It’s hard to be exposed to the images from media and not be affected by them. That’s why I don’t watch TV or movies. You make me think it’s good I haven’t gotten onto pinterest yet. I actually had to quit reading celebrity gossip when I found blogging.

    Your blog is one of the blogs that has been most helpful to me in my recovery, along with The Run Within, Strength In Freedom and Running With Spoons. Thanks for sharing your story of recovery and your thoughts on the subject of eating disorders because in helps real people, like me. 🙂

    • I’m so glad you find my posts helpful Austin! Really, that means so much to me. The other blogs you’ve listed are some of my favourites, Amanda, Alex and Sloane are amazing women.

      It’s great that you gave up gossip magazines, they’re seriously vicious.

  14. I love you!!!! I’ll admit, sometimes I get frustrated with myself that I’m not as fit or thin as I used to be. But really, who gives a crap?! You’re so right that the people who love us don’t care how we look. And in fact I’m pretty sure my friends and family like me better now that I’m more carefree, fun, and don’t act like I have a stick up my butt 24/7 lol. Also being able to enjoy hanging out with my friends and family and being able to just go with the flow and eat whatever is so much better than fretting about looking hot in a bikini. As long as we’re healthy and happy, that’s all that matters!

  15. I LOVE this post/vlog, Sam, and I’m so grateful that you’re speaking out about a topic that’s extremely delicate and controversial — especially in the healthy living blog community. So many women–myself included–become disillusioned by a skinny or “fit” ideal at some point in their lives, and while it’s easy to understand why it happens (hello, every form of media shoving these images down our throats), it’s far more difficult to understand what and who we’re doing it for. If it’s for ourselves, it’s for nothing more than pride. If it’s for others, it’s for people who don’t matter. Because as you so perfectly said…

    “The people that matter most in your life are the ones that do not care what your body looks like. They will love you whether or lose 10 pounds, or gain 50. Anyone who puts that much value on your appearance does not deserve to have priority in your life.”

    An ideal body, in my opinion, is one that moves regularly, but also carries a fulfilled and happy heart. Deprivation is no ticket to a fulfilled and happy heart, and I know from personal experience, that living out a “dedicated” (read: EXTREME–I hate when I see people write about DEDICATION..grr) lifestyle is not good for the body or the soul!

    Love you!! ❤

  16. Pingback: Taking Care Of Business | Chasing Chels

  17. You know stands out most to me about my recovered personality vs my ED personality? I’m more assertive, more willing to act on my needs, and more emotive. And also, kind of – or REALLY – effin’ angry! Angry that I spent years whittling myself into a brittle-boned, soft-voiced, martyr/victim. I looked how my parents needed me to, I acted how professors wanted me to, and I played right into the hands of men who liked feeling in control.

    How awful. Then I met my (now) husband and he liked me as I was. For the first time, I didn’t have to prove myself to anyone. I felt good enough as is. His love and our relationship gave me encourage to disentangle myself from an 8 year long cycle of anorexia/recover/anorexia, to stand up to my parents, and to leave a PhD program that was harming my mental and physical health.

    I started recovery in earnest last September, and the months have been punctuated with events like crying over butter on broccoli see a 2 lb gain as 20 lbs in the mirror. I can hardly believe I’m sitting here, nearly six months later, in a happy marriage, a new career track, and the ability to eat a little ice cream or chocolate daily if I want. Sure I gained weight, but I also got my life back.

    It feels like my husband managed to access the truest me that lay dormant for so many years, repressed by the ED. And now it’s out and I love FEELING things again, good and bad.

    • I’m so freakin’ happy for you J! You should be angry about the time your ED had control of you – it completely robbed you of happiness and your own identity. It’s great to hear how you’re doing now. Your husband sounds like a pretty fantastic individual!

  18. Love this post! And the Though Catalog article. The fitspiration stuff really irks me too…you know how I feel about it! It’s ok not to have ripped arms and a 6-pack…you’re beautiful just the way you are, and I especially love this: “The people that would be most impressed with those feats are the ones that matter the least.” SO true! A-to-the-MEN haha

  19. Pingback: Rehashing March. | Better With Sprinkles

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